Ron Sparks Author, Poet

Motorcycles and Geek Ingenuity

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So the battery on my motorcycle died. I went out and tried to start it the other day and the engine wouldn’t even turn once – just a sad clicking sound from the starter. So I pulled the battery out and saw that it was completely empty of acid.

Being the frugal nerd that I am I added about 1/3 spoonful of Epsom salt and some distilled water to the battery. That sometimes works and your battery will limp along for another month or two.

Not this time. My battery was completely shot.

So I woke up early this morning for some ungodly reason (630am) and ran to the auto parts store as soon as it opened. They did not have my battery. Annoyed, I was about to just call it quits when I decided to call Sears.

A lady named Andrea answered the phone as when I told her I needed her to look up my battery and see if it was in stick she asked me to hold a minute. Meanwhile, I started driving towards Sears – a 20 minute drive.

I was on hold the entire 20 minutes. It was amusing at first, but after 15 minutes I had a righteous ire going on. At 22 minutes, when I walked in the door of Sears automotive, with the phone still attached to my ear, I was downright pissed.

I walked up to Andrea and she asked if she could help me. I very politely told her to go ahead and take the call on hold. She looked at her phone in surprise and answered it.

I tuned my back on Andrea as she answered and spoke into the phone:

“Hi Andrea, a guy in a green shirt is going to come in asking for a battery. Don’t give it to him. That battery is mine.”

There was a pause as Andrea looked at me, her phone, then back at me again. I turned around and shut off my phone and told her that she had left me on hold for over 20 minutes and that it was downright unprofessional.

She, of course, apologized profusely. I decided it was too much energy to stay angry so I smiled and let it go.

Fortunately they had my battery. Or so I thought.

After paying $50.00 for the battery, getting it home, pouring in the acid and burning the cut in my finger, I was dismayed when I realized that the battery was the WRONG ONE! It had the positive and negative posts reversed and my cables would not reach.

I groaned and thought about the drive back to Sears and the attempt to explain the situation – sure that they would not allow me to return the battery since I had already added acid and charged it.

So I did what any nerd would do – I extended my battery cables. I ran to my tool shed and created two 4-inch extensions for my battery cables. I did it correctly, too. The extensions screw securely to the existing cables and fit perfectly into the battery posts.

The day was saved – all because I am a nerd and have spare electrical parts laying around. That that as a lesson, ladies – the junk we hoard ALWAYS comes in handy some day.

About the author

Ron Sparks

Ron Sparks is a technology professional, science fiction and fantasy author and poet living in Zurich, Switzerland. His latest book "ONI: Satellite Earth Series Book 1" is available on Amazon.com.

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Ron Sparks Author, Poet

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Ron Sparks

Ron Sparks is a technology professional, science fiction and fantasy author and poet living in Zurich, Switzerland. His latest book "ONI: Satellite Earth Series Book 1" is available on Amazon.com.

Welcome

A man of many passions, I lay claim to a myriad of interests and hobbies. Among them, I am an amateur astronomer, an avid motorcycle rider, a whiskey aficionado, a (poor) surfer, a scuba diver, a martial artist, a student of philosophy, a proponent of critical thinking, a technologist, an entrepreneur, a cancer survivor, and I harbor a lifelong love of science fiction and fantasy. Feel free to strike up a conversation on the social networks below.

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