On Saturday August 4th, 1990 Ronald Edward Sparks looked Samantha Lynn Beard in the eyes and promised to love her “till death do us part.”
The date is now Saturday January 5th, 2008. I found out yesterday that my divorce from Samantha is final.
I, Ron Sparks, am now officially divorced from the mother of my children and the woman who was the love of my life.
And yet I intend to love, honor, and cherish Samantha to the end of my days. Divorce and marriage are legal arrangements that have nothing to do with love. And I do still love her and I always will. She will never be my wife, lover, or even close friend again – but I will love her for all my days.
I was married to Samantha for:
17 years, 5 months, 1 day or
6363 days or
549,763,200 seconds or
9,162,720 minutes or
152,712 hours or
That’s a long time, folks. I thought that when it was final that I would have some huge cathartic emotional response. I thought I would grieve more. I would weep. I would be unfit to be company with anyone.
None of that happened though. Maybe my Christmas Eve Tragedy was my final goodbye. I took the news calmly. I was in my car. I drove in silence for 15 minutes remembering those 17 years, 5 month, and 1 day fondly – with a small smile on my lips and just a hint of tears and regret in my eyes.
I surprised myself. I am not sad. I am not grieving. I am happy.
I have two wonderful children, an incredible family, fantastic friends, a great job, and I have my eyes on someone special.
Life is good, people. Very good.
I hope Samantha has a long and happy life and that all of her dreams are fulfilled. There was a time when it was my life mission to fulfill those dreams for her – but that day is long gone. Now, all I can do is love her and wish her well.
I want to take a moment and thank all of you who read my blogs these past 18 months. You stood in the presence of my pain and didn’t shy away. You held me in your arms (both real and virtual) and told me that it was ok to cry and that I was not flawed. You saw me at my best and at my worst and you stuck by me.
Ron 2.0 Officially begins now. Wish me luck, everyone.