Walking
By me as I
Wrestle with my regret
She laughs, and for a short moment I
too smile
A Small Gift
A
Surrender
S
she lies on the bed facing me the curve of her hips giving shape to the blankets her bare shoulder and arm are bent at a gentle angle as she lightly runs her fingers through my hair her tattoos a vibrant splash of color on her alabaster skin half lidded eyes take me in and she sighs, a Mona Lisa smile on her lips A million thoughts run through my mind, my manic mind, while she caresses me in...
Cancer, Scars, and Airport Shuttles
C
I flew to Washington, DC today. Again. It’s what I do. Working for Hooah, I get the opportunity to fly up here a couple of times each month. I work with my clients, my team, and enjoy a town I love dearly. This week, I am lucky enough that my lovely wife, Carey, is able to join me. We barely made the shuttle from the terminal to the rental car counter at DCA. The shuttle was full, but...
The Binary Biker is Still Cancer-Free!
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Short blog. Yesterday I blogged about my 6-month CT/PET scan and the process steps it entails. Today, less than 24-hours later, I have my results. I called my nurse, Val, at about 10:00am and asked that she call me as soon as the scans were in. Around 11:00am she called me back. My result? NORMAL SCAN. NO SIGNS OF CANCER! I am so happy. This marks 18 months of clean scans. Thank you...
The Cancer Survivor CT/PET Scan Routine
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Today marks 18 months since the end of my treatments for squamous cell carcinoma. I celebrate every 6 months by getting a CT/PET scan to check for more cancer. This is a routine that most cancer survivors are familiar with, but surprisingly few others understand. This article is my attempt to explain the process to the uninitiated. After a cancer patient completes treatment and is nominally...
Fat Lips and Cancer
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I have a fat lip – and it’s making me nervous. Yesterday I discovered what felt like a small lump below my lip. It was painful to the touch. It felt like an ingrown hair along the shaving line of my bottom lip. Throughout the day I felt it and it was sore, but there was no visible sign of the zit or ingrown hair. Then, last night, my lip started to swell. Within an hour it looked...
Cancer Anxiety Blues
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Yep – it’s hit – the cancer anxiety blues. 3 months ago I had a clean PET scan. No signs of cancer. Now I have 3 months to go until I get my next scan. The anxiety is setting in. I am seeing cancer in every little ache and pain. I am getting nervous. I guess this is my life right now. Every six months a PET scan. Every 3 months the worry about the next scan sets in. It’s...
Dealing with Cancer Anxiety
D
I was talking to a co-worker yesterday. He is finally getting to know me well enough to talk to me about my cancer. People know I have cancer – that I am a survivor with less than a year of clean scans under my belt – and are understandably hesitant to speak to me about it. My co-worker is in awe of my attitude. He says he thinks I am a hero. He has perused my blogs, he knows a little...
The Mind Games Cancer Plays
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Dealing with cancer is not just a physical challenge. As if surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation weren’t difficult enough, there are scores of mental mind games your cancer plays with you as well. I’ve blogged about both the mental and physical effects my cancer has pummeled me with. I’ve discussed my survivor’s guilt (why did I survive when others with my same kind of...
