We were driving to the pet store to get a new tag for our beagle, Cassie, when we started discussing the guest list. We were differentiating between people we HAVE to invite and people we’d LIKE to invite.
I brought up the name of a particular person I’d like to invite and Carey immediately said, “He can’t come; he makes me uncomfortable.”
Pause. I waited a beat before I replied, “But he’s MY guest. . . “
“He can’t come,” she repeated. “He makes me uncomfortable.”
I shook my head. “He has been a great friend to me. He has been generous, has helped me when I needed it and I truly like him.”
“I understand,” she said, “but it doesn’t change the fact that he makes me uncomforable.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, “but you can’t really dicatate who’s on my list. Aside from ex’s I can’t see how you can veto any of my guests. This is my wedding too.”
“You mean to tell me,” she said, “that you’d let someone come to the wedding who you KNOW makes me uncomfortable?”
“Hey,” I shrugged, “It’s your neurosis.”
“Hmph.” She looked away.
“Listen,” I said, “I need you to agree that aside from ex’s you can’t dicatate my guest list. I want people at my wedding who are important to me and I expect a little understanding – just as you would expect from me.”
She looked at me grudgingly, “You’re right.”
I nodded, “Thank you.”
We walked towards the dog food to see what we could find. I looked over at her, “Honey, do you realize we just had our first wedding fight?”
She smiled. “We did! Yay us!”
“Yay us,” I repeated. “And I won the argument!”
“Are you going to invite him?” she asked.
“No – it was never that important to me.”
“So who won?” she asked.