I am so overwhelmed with emotion that I don’t know where to begin. Excitement, nervousness, fear, giddiness, love, and happiness. Let me start from the beginning.
I am so happy I can’t contain myself.
After my cancer treatments, I was told that the drug that was used on me in chemotherapy almost certainly negatively impacted my fertility. I never stopped to think that “negatively impacted” does not means “infertile.”
Turns out that I am not infertile!
Three weeks ago, Carey and I rode to Daytona’s 2010 Bike Week. We had a great time with friends, but I noticed that Carey wasn’t feeling very well on and off throughout the day. She was nauseous and just a little under the weather. She didn’t even want to share a beer with us as we walked and rode through the festivities at Daytona. We chalked it up to just a random stomach bug.
It seemed to get better for a week or so, but then last week, when we were at my nieces’ baby shower she started feeling really, really sick. We enjoyed the shower, of course, but I was worried about Carey’s near-constant nausea and upset stomach.
Strangely enough, I chose that week to blog about my views on abortion. Maybe I subconsciously suspected that Carey was pregnant. Of course, the fact that as we drove home from the baby shower every other billboard for 100 miles on I-95 from Jacksonville to Daytona were anti-abortion ads may have been a factor.
Last week, the sickness didn’t get better and Carey started feeling poorly off and on at all hours of the day. On March 24th, 2010 – two days before my birthday – I went to Walgreens and picked up a pregnancy test for Carey. I didn’t think she was pregnant, but the signs were starting to tickle my spider sense.
She went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. I hid it from her and watched it as the test progressed. After about a minute, a faint second line started coming in – indicating that she was pregnant.
My heart started pounding in my chest. But the second line was so faint! Maybe there was a mistake? I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be a mistake or not.
Carey took another test an hour later. The second line immediately turned red. (We have taken four tests over 3 days now, “just to make sure.”) They all reach the same conclusion:
Carey is pregnant!
We laughed, we cried. We hugged each other tightly in the bedroom and whispered our love for each other softly to each other. Based on our math, we think Carey is about six weeks pregnant right now with a mid-November due date. We’ll know more accurately when we see a doctor next week.
I am 40 years old today and I’m going to have a baby in 8 months. I feel overwhelmed and not up for the task. mentally I’m ready. I’m a good dad and I love my children. My experience will make it so much easier now.
Physically I am not where I was when I was younger. Financially I’m still recovering from my disability and medical bills from my cancer treatments last year. This will definitely impact the recovery. I need to start getting everything on order for baby’s arrival.
More than anything, though, I love my wife. I love my unnamed baby. I call him/her “Ziggy the Zygote” for now, although Carey is not all that fond of my little nickname for Baby Sparks.
This is so amazing. We are so happy. We’re having a baby!